Leave room for fresh air and interruptions
Hi my people,
My day started with a slightly swollen eye and walk to Rolling Waves. I bumped into Noah, who was just finishing a run. As he caught his breath and sweat all over the counter, we ordered coffees. We sat and talked about my time at Spring Health and what I want to do next. I told him about the various people I have talked to so far, and we spun into a deeper conversation about mind & body integration and our respective mental health journeys. We connected on the very physical manifestation of our anxiety and stress and discussed how we can better use our bodies as a guide. I told him about the Osteopath I am seeing on Monday, recommended by Conlan and a few of his friends. I want to address my TMJ, back pain, and vasovagal syncope. For Noah, the neuro emotional technique (NET) has recently changed his life. NET treatment uses muscle testing, or applied kinesiology, to pinpoint automatic stress responses to specific thoughts and triggers. After identifying where that response is being held physically in the body, you work to release it with chiropractic body work. We brainstormed and shared ideas about big problems we want to solve. At one point I said "I don't think have the experience for..." and he stopped me and asked if I could please end that thought there. I did and it felt good.
I headed to the beach to run, swim, read, and write. After a late lunch at Sendero, I went back to the beach to meditate. I met an Australian named Max, who is visiting from Canada. He surfs every day between 3-4pm and invited me to join anytime. I said "I would love that, but I am very much still learning". He said, "Of course, I am learning too!" Another reminder to detach from the fear of not knowing, not [perhaps yet] mastering. I could hear David Whyte telling me to embrace forgiveness and allow myself the right to not know at this point. In "When Things Fall Apart", a book I cherished during a time of personal struggle, Pema Chodron says: "Seeking security or perfection, rejoicing in feeling confirmed and whole, self-contained and comfortable, is some kind of death. It doesn't have any fresh air. There's no room for something to come in and interrupt all that. We are killing the moment by controlling the experience." I will leave room for the fresh air and interruptions.
Noah joined me at the beach at 4pm. We kneeled in the shallow part of the water and exfoliated our bodies and faces with Nosara's fine grain sand. I also held my first live sand dollar! At 4:30pm, Jesse and Sam arrived with their 2-year old son, Wes (Wesley, named after Wesleyan, where they met and fell in love). Wes took some time to warm up, but eventually asked if I would hold him! I eagerly scooped him up, also giving Jesse a break from carrying his 110th-percentile-weight body. He broke into sweet laughter every time the water splashed his face. Sam got a quick surf in and we waded in the warm saltwater until the sun went down at 5:45pm. We talked a lot about nothing, more focused on experiencing the beautiful sunset in each others' presence. In a world enamored of complexity, slowing down and finding moments of nothing feels necessary. It was a quieter day with fewer sunset spectators. We parted ways to shower with plans to meet back up as a foursome for dinner.
At 7pm we reconvened at Posada Margherita. It felt like we had relocated to a greenhouse in Italy. We had onion focaccia bread, marinara pizza with prosciutto, pasta pomodoro, a few seafood pastas, fish, and ice cream. Fluffy dough, sweet tomato sauce, and the best pistachio ice cream I've ever had. We talked about our families, work, school, relationships, sports, parenthood, and, of course, watched the live Lakers/Knicks game on Noah's phone. I proudly showed them photos of Liam in his Quickley jersey, which he wore every day for a few months last year. We finished dinner, grabbed beers, and walked down to the beach to stargaze before calling it a night. Day 5 was magical, with a lot of time fully immersed in nature and many stimulating & interesting conversations with good people.
XO,
Kelsey
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